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Halloween Jokes

Tickle your funny bone for Halloween with this collection of Halloween Jokes.

The maker does not want it,
the buyer does not use it,
and the user does not see it, what is it?
a coffin.

What do they teach in witching school?

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

How do you make a witch stew?
Keep her waiting for hours.

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

What is a vamire's favorite fruit?
A necktarine

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?

What do lady ghosts put on their skin?
Vanishing cream

Why are vampires crazy?
Because they are all bats

Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To go to the body shop

Why did't the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts.

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.

Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?
Because people are dying to get in.

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?

What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?
Scream or sugar!

What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suck.

What is a Skeleton's favorite song.
"Bad to the Bone"

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?

Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation.

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.


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